Thomas Kingston Benton

37 Things about Tom Benton

Our beloved husband and father, Tom Benton, died shortly after 6 PM on June 24, 2025. He was surrounded by his family. He had fought an admirable battle with lung cancer, complicated by pneumonia and emphysema. He had just turned 72. We wanted to share this news with a sense of celebrating all he was to us - so please enjoy, in honor of his favorite number, 37 things about Tom Benton. Feel free to add your own to the list!

1. 1.  He was a singer songwriter, and played both guitar and piano beautifully. The day before he died, when asked his favorite musician, he pointed to himself. 😂
2. 2.  He was an ardent humanist and pacifist.
3. 3.  His lifelong dream was to design a golf course. He loved golf, cycling, baseball, football, and soccer (and pretty much any sport).
4. 4.  He was an accomplished baker and cook, and his Daddy Cookies, a chocolate chip cookie recipe inherited from his mother, were renowned, especially among his daughters’ friends. We will miss his homemade pizza most of all.
5. 5.  A few years ago he made a conscious decision to switch from his muted wardrobe of black, maroon, and green to all tie dye. He dyed some of own shirts, but he very much preferred when his family would dye the shirts for him. He wore tie dye every single day.
6. 6.  He was a minimalist, and endeavored to own as few possessions as possible, including only ONE pair of socks.
7. 7.  He was interested in paleo history and anthropology, and one of his most formative childhood experiences was finding an arrowhead near an archaeological dig in New York State.
8. 8.  He met several of the New York Yankees when he was 10 years old. Mickey Mantle ruffled his hair!
9. 9.  He loved to read, especially science fiction, fantasy, mystery and history.
10. 10.  Every year on Christmas Eve, he would recite The Night Before Christmas aloud to his family, from children to grandchildren…almost always from memory.
11. 11.  He had the biggest sweet tooth - asking for things like chocolate cake and chocolate ice cream up until the day he died.
12. 12.  He and his wife Gigi were together for 47 and a half years (that half was very important to him). They met at Genesee Community College. They made a home full of love and music and good food for their family, and called each other Benny and Howie for short. He supported her through school, childbirth, and her career.
13. 13.  He loved to garden and said that having his hands in the dirt was like therapy for him.
14. 14.  He is survived by his wife and daughters, Gigi, Laura, Anna, and Julia, siblings Debbie, Mimi, Julie and John, grandsons Dominic and Easton, his sons-in-law Matt and Candradasa, granddog Ollie K., sister-in-law Alice, nieces and nephews Christine, Rachel, Spencer, Steven, and Monica, and many other family members and friends.
15. 15.  His favorite movie was King of Hearts, in which the residents of a mental asylum take over a French village at the end of World War I.
16. 16.  His most repeated mantra was “it’s hard to be human.”
17. 17.  He drank prodigious amounts of black coffee, and one of his favorite snacks was little chocolate doughnuts (preferably refrigerated) and coffee on the road.
18. 18.  He loved to drive and to find new routes and explore new places by car. There was nothing he liked more than perusing an atlas, or finding your route on Google maps, even if he wasn’t coming with you!
19. 19.  He held a lot of anger. He often felt like the only sane person in the madness of a capitalist, materialist, violent, unhappy world.
20. 20.  He was accompanied for many years by our beloved family dog Apollo - they made an unlikely pair but were kind of obsessed with each other.
21. 21.  He loved the Three Stooges and any kind of physical comedy.
22. 22.  His favorite emoji, fittingly, was 😎
23. 23.  He loved writing, making art, and taking photos, and we wish he’d done more of all three. If you do anything in his memory, please never let self doubt hold you back from creative expression.
24. 24.  Tom had a brush with death at 60, and it changed his outlook on life. He was much more motivated to live and experience life in these later years, traveling across the country and reconnecting with old friends, making trips to Canada and England, and becoming more expressive.
25. 25.  He had a particularly twinkly smile reserved for his loved ones.
26. 26.  He loved to tell a good story. He always said, “don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story.”
27. 27.  He was very fond of quoting his own song lyrics. We can’t say we blame him - they were pretty good. Here’s one of our favorites: 
28. 
    
29. I have in mind a photo taken 50 years ago 
30. by an astronaut from way out there in space 
31. of a little blue and white striped marble spinning all alone 
32. In a big and black and blank and empty place 
33. 
    
34. That marble’s where I live; I live there with you. 
35. 7 billion plus of us with nothing else to do 
36. but chase each other round and round our round and blue resort 
37. burning up the future for a quarterly report. 
38. 
    
39. Every song I write now turns out angry in the end - 
40. I just can’t seem to let my spirit rest. 
41. It’s my expectations for myself and for my friends 
42. People are so rarely at their best. 
43. 
    
44. I can’t turn my back and I can’t get away 
45. This marble’s all we have, here we have to stay. 
46. To live in peace together, you all must do your 
47. part cause I can’t build a high enough wall around my heart.
48. 
    
49. 28.  He was an avid croquet player in his adult years. He and his best friends Scott and Mark frequently created extreme backyard croquet courses to challenge each other and their kids.
50. 29.  He was so proud of his wife and daughters, his “four girls.” He took every chance he had to brag about them and show pictures. He was highly entertained by his grandsons’ antics and often remarked how happy he’d be if he could only have an ounce of their energy.
51. 30.  In his last days, it became a struggle for him to breathe and speaking was very difficult. One of his last statements, that he worked very diligently to communicate, was “Never doubt my love for you.” He also let us know it was important for us to live with joy.
52. 31.  His favorite meal to eat out was a cheeseburger, fries and a chocolate milkshake. For breakfast, a biscuit with sausage gravy and an egg on top. He was passionate about breakfast! When he moved to Syracuse a few years ago, he made sure to sample all the local diners with Gigi.
53. 32.  When asked about his final wishes, he frequently asked to be stuffed by a taxidermist, and placed in a corner with his finger wagging at us. We are not able to fulfill this request. Sorry Dad!
54. 33.  His parents came from Skaneatles, NY and he had a special place in his heart for the lake.
55. 34.  He was devoted to supporting Gigi in finding her roots and reconnecting with family, from the moment they met. They not only built a family together, his family accepted her as their own, and he helped her to find her brother, her ancestors, and herself.
56. 35.  He loved SO many things about this world… except peanut butter (not peanuts) and broccoli and bagpipes and cows.
57. 36.  In accordance with his love for nature and the environment, he will be buried at Greensprings Natural Cemetery Preserve in Newfield, NY. We plan to hold a Celebration of Life later this summer. Dress code will be tie dye.
58. 37.  Tom was seriously opposed to organized religion, but had a strong sense of connection with nature and the universe. In his last days he wanted us to know this philosophy in particular: 
59. 
    
60. This planet has just one great soul. When you are born, whether human being or bacteria, you are given just a little piece of this soul. It is our great responsibility to carry it until we die. We can add to this piece, make it better, or we can do the opposite. When you turn it in, what will your piece look like? Remember you are carrying it always, and that whatever you are, you are connected to every other living being. We are all part of the same family.
61. 
    

We are so very grateful to have been part of his family. With love, love, so much love,

Gigi, Laura, Anna, Julia, Matt & Candradasa